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That's the key.
@Melissa: Awesome. But carnage? Oh no! I do like the idea of things getting jacked. You leave the most encouraging comments, Melissa. Thank you.
@J.D.: Yeah. That phrase was when the aha point for me. After I wrote that the rest came naturally. I really do feel that's the key.
This was a f*cking good post. Printing out, will mull over during the weekend.
"And the more we associate money with life, the more we convince ourselves that we
I like the baselining idea. I've been doing that for a while now, and it's liberating. It's totally aligned with one of my personal core values: freedom. Freedom doesn't come from having lots of money and fulfilling your needs, it comes from letting go of needs that are unimportant, it comes from simplifying your life to the bare essentials.
And when you're there, dreamlining is a great strategy again. Because there are always things that we want to be, have or do. At that point you're making the lifestyle decisions. Big rocks, not pebbles.
"But the tax is a small price to pay for a life lived on your own terms."
So true. And in many ways, once you start paying the rabbit hole tax, it simply stops being one, I think. It's relative size compared to what you gain becomes smaller and smaller until it's just not there anymore.
I'm writing a song (no, really) about getting off the American Dream bus, and no doubt some of the imagery and phrases from this post will work their way into the song. Thanks for the inspiration and helping me fill in some of the verses.
My husband & I have set everything aside time & again in the process of creating a simpler, sustainable lifestyle that feeds our souls rather than bottom lines, outside expectations or vicious cycles. Thank you for letting people know that the cost is well worth the reward. We're still doing w/out a good number of things externally but are finding fulfillment as we seek out only what actually supports that inner growth.
(|_|*cheers*|_|)
While there may be a rabbit hole tax, I'd say it's a much more laissez faire rabbit hole than the comparable taxes of living in the world of shoulds. I agree with Dan that at a certain point it just goes away.
Thanks for pointing folks to the dreamline I put up, too!
An interesting proposition to add to this idea is applying it as a couple. My wife and I have been on this trip lately, you may have helped us see another level to try. Thanks.
phenomenal clarity... GORGEOUS..!!!
i've found that life is so so so much more pleasurable when lived well beneath our means. it is true freedom - to know we can have a new car but don't want it - can have a plasma TV - but don't want it.
since my day to day life is in corp. world. i'm increasingly amazed at the people who live completely indentured to their "things" and to popular culture's dictates - through those "things" end up enslaved to jobs they often despise.
i am convinced that it is not the actual career they despise - but rather the enslavement. after all - what spirit wants to live enslaved? when the master is ubiquitous and often completely subconscious the enslavement must be in many ways worse than medieval serfdom. Thus the free floating anxiety/depression and "stress" that characterize common everyday life in the developed world.
believing we are too poor to buy our freedom - that belief is the ultimate definition of enslavement
"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
"If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires." ~ Epicurus
"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." ~ Chinese proverb
"The wise man knows that it is better to sit on the banks of a remote mountain stream than to be emperor of the whole world." ~ Zhuang Tzi
The flak you
For me, paying the rabbit hole tax is the funny looks I get when I try to explain how frugality and sound investing is often greater than taking the high paying job. Thanks so much for the great article, best read I've seen in a while.
I think that fear of the Rabbit Hole Tax is what keeps us clinging on to goals that may no longer (or never were) relevant to our real desires. A coincidence because I just wrote about this yesterday: http://snipr.com/29154
This also reminds me of this morning, when I decided to go on a half-hour bike ride instead of going to the gym. It was so much more enjoyable than going to the gym, and I got my cardio workout, as well as getting to see way more scenery. But why did I almost go to the gym instead? Maybe because going to the gym wouldn't have been as much fun, so it would have been better for me, right? :) Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have to suffer in order to accomplish anything.
Great anti-hacks!
One guy wanted to travel around the world. So he told his wife he had to get away, and told his son, who was fighting cerebral palsy, "I'm off to live the life I've always wanted to live. It doesn't include you or your mom. You're on your own. I will be happy. Too bad your life will always suck, but it's not my problem any more."
That was over 20 years ago. He's still traveling, living out of his backpack. His wife died of a stroke 6 years ago. His son is still struggling, and hating his father with every fiber of his being, but his father doesn't care.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think most people will ever be that selfish and cavalier about the people they supposedly love. If you do have a family, care and consideration need to be taken and serious planning needs to make sure that everyone will benefit from such a decision.
Remember, it's not all about you and what you want, but what's best for you AND the ones you love. It doesn't have to be a me-or-them decision.
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Response from Clay
This post by no means dictates a specific course of action for everyone. What this post is meant to convey is that "the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine." Even if you have 15 children, etc. the logistics of living are probably more maliable than most of us can conceive (and exercising flexibility in the logistics of our lives doesn't have to ruing the lives of those who depend upon us; in fact, it can make their lives better).
As I said earlier, "lifestyle design also happens when a parent decides they want to stay home with their children."
I'm afraid you misunderstood what I wrote. I by no means am advocating a specific course of action for every individual. And as I've said in another article, sometimes the cost of radical growth just isn't worth it.
Trying to pursue an alternative life, even if it is not that radical requires a tremendous amount of patience, persistence, and a willingness to block out the negative "white" noise that is sometimes thrown your way...
It ain't always easy but as I get ready to go watch the sunset here in the Caribbean with my wife, life outside the norm certainly does have its advantages.
You take care.
Mark
but on the note of responsibilities getting in the way of following our best path, i actually know a couple with 4 children who are living their dream despite the fact that one of the children is pretty handicapped. they live on their boat, home school their kids and essentially sail around the world as their way of life. The kids (4 - 15) are beyon awesome.
these folks spent a good bit of last summer at a mooring near our home before they sailed off for warmer climates for the winter.
I just subscribed to you and look forward to reading more often. :)
Thanks,
melissa
I am happier now, in the howling wilderness of Maine, than I thought I could ever be. I feel much "richer" than I did several years ago when I had plenty of money, but no meaning.
I do agree with what jrandom42 said, however. While it would be nice to take off just like that, it is also important to consider the needs of your family. Even the Buddha said so and fulfilled his obligations first. In short, like what jrandom42 concluded, planning is key.
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Clay's Resposne
Thanks for your comment, Evelyn. I'd like to state that I by no means advocated taking off "just like that." This post does not prescribe a timeline and it certainly does not advocate ignoring your loved ones. Also, this post does advocate planning. Both baselining and dreamlining are mechanisms for planning, and I would encourage people to use other tools to plan. Immediately implementation of our impulses is often a bad idea. It's also worth mentioning that sometimes the price of radical growth just isn't worth it.
When I graduated from [insert name of Ivy League college] I was heading to med school. Life was grand. Big time medicine. And then I crashed and burned. Life intervened. After bumming around strange jobs here in Missouri, my father died. Then got married. Then mother got sick. Then had a kid. Then mom died. Then MID-LIFE hit. Then got divorced. AND THANK GOD ALL THAT SHIT HAPPENED!!!
Now, 21 years later, I live in on my grandmother's farm in rural Missouri and I love it. I feel at home. I write about spirituality. I see things really taking shape. I'm happier than I've ever thought possible. Peace is rising in me more and more. I have an amazing kid. Life is awesome. All because life intervened and said, "nope, different plans, kiddo."
Not sure where I'm going with this. Oh, well, still love the post, Clay. :-D
This post by no means dictates a specific course of action for everyone. What this post is meant to convey is that "the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine." Even if you have 15 children, etc. the logistics of living are probably more maliable than most of us can conceive (and exercising flexibility in the logistics of our lives doesn't have to ruing the lives of those who depend upon us; in fact, it can make their lives better).
As I said earlier, "lifestyle design also happens when a parent decides they want to stay home with their children."
I'm afraid you misunderstood what I wrote. I by no means am advocating a specific course of action for every individual. And as I've said in another article, sometimes the cost of radical growth just isn't worth it.
In short, if you read this message as advocating the abandonment of family, being an irresponsible child, parent, etc. then you are reading text that doesn't appear in the article and I suggest you read this post.
I'd like to state that I by no means advocated taking off "just like that." This post does not prescribe a timeline and it certainly does not advocate ignoring your loved ones. Also, this post does advocate planning and it certainly does not dis-encourage planning. Both baselining and dreamlining are mechanisms for planning. Additionally I would encourage people to use other tools to plan. Immediate implementation of our impulses is often a bad idea. It's also worth mentioning that sometimes the price of radical growth just isn't worth it.
Thank you for stopping by, Evelyn.
I have had the good fortune to meet Leonard a number of times, and he is really a remarkable person: dedicated, unattached, tolerant (though others are not so tolerant of him), and overall an interesting person to talk to. If you see him again, ask him about the "God loves you" hot air balloon he tried to make that was so big it never got off the ground. I think it is in a museum somewhere.
The path of alternative lifestyle design can be incredibly liberating and rewarding, but my point is that PLANNING is the key. Being able to share your vision with your spouse is important. Taking small steps to show the validity of what you are aiming to achieve is crucial. And communication at all times is the key to making it happen.
Someone posted that they knew a family with a handicapped child made a radical change in their life. I bet, that if you talked to them, you will find that they had many discussions about it, agreement on the aim, and intense planning on how to handle the myriad details of making work.
I have yet to read Tim Ferriss' book, though I do read his blog and when I first discovered it I found it fascinating that so many were excited by what he was saying even though these same people are a part of the world's wealthy minority and actually have the option of designing their own perfect lifestyle. The problem seems to be that many people can't accept that they don't want it enough to pay a price to have it.
When I was backpacking people would always ask me how I managed to do it, like I had some special secret or trust fund. I didn't. In fact, most of my travelling was done after I left the corporate world and was a temp contracter and ESL teacher. These jobs don't earn buckets of money but I still saved and bummed around for 6 months at a time. Anyone can do it if you want it enough.
It does get harder when you add spouses and kids into the equation and this is something I wrestle with. If I just pleased myself I would be in Mexico now, working on my novel, eating tacos, rice and beans, and volunteering. But my husband is very career driven and has a successful job in Australia and I do want my son to have a base to return to after he has his world adventures with me. It's hard to be outside society and your peers, to want things they don't understand or value. It can be a very lonely place to live and personally I'm not sure you ever stop asking yourself if you're doing the right thing.
For me, I know I've got to find that balance between me and my family and work out what price I'm willing to pay so we can all be happy. But then that's one of the endless questions of life, I think. What am I willing to compromise/sacrifice to be happy?
Great post. Clay. You're a legend.
Kelly
While I've dreamed of a life style such as this one, I found that it becomes more difficult when there are other people involved such as my wife and children.
Often times the conflict is not necessarily about material possession, status, or social obligation. For me at least, it's more about making concessions with my family on what type of a life we all want.
Like Kelly, my wife and I would rather be somewhere in front of the ocean chilling and writing, but our children, especially the older ones love their life in the big city. We could just leave them and take the little ones but this would mean that out family would be incomplete.
Regarding lifestyle design, I think it's interesting how many people are creating occupations for themselves that have not existed before (blogging, for example), and people will keep inventing new careers that don't exist now.
- Robin
Then I came to you via Jonathan Mead's site after 'cyber-complaining' about you to him - (are y'all just one big clique?). Anyhoo this was a nice post...I shall most likely investigate further (for what it's worth).
Such a great article and it couldn't have come at a more opportune time in my life. Thank you!
If you ever stop writing this blog, I'll kill you.
What?
Do I look like I'm joking?